oh man, getsockopt is such a pain. had that one a while back too. even with firewall off, sometimes it's something else. try these imo:
* check your antivirus. some of 'em have their own network protection that acts like a firewall, totally separate from windows def.
* router reboot. classic but sometimes works miracles.
* make sure you and your friend are on the EXACT same java version. like, point releases matter a lot for servers.
* if they set up port forwarding, make sure it's done right on their end too.
hope one of these helps!
